“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e., the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling.” — David Foster Wallace, novelist
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When you hear of someone suffering from this dis-ease (temptation), take them seriously. Robin Williams was a strong character — on and off camera. When the best choice is the worst action, the person is suffering of something beyond endurable levels. Yes, there are those who cry wolf; but, then, there are those that just cry! Beyond, there are those that fear; and the fear of two evils will result in a person choosing one over the other — that choice could mean death.
high-rise;
the fear of jumping
from flames
db
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This is such a powerful realization and an important post, Master Baird…and thank you for standing up and sharing it. I’ve been there…trapped between the flames and the fall, and I am so grateful for the safety net that the martial arts and my Kung Fu Family provided.
I was one of the people who stood up last year when you asked who was alive because of Martial Arts, and my hand was raised when you asked if it would have been at our own hand.
Despair and Depression are real, potent, and powerful motivators…and without a way out of the fire, many choose to jump. Thank you for giving us a way to deal with the darkness…a path to turn to that shows us the light. Thank you for a school that teaches us how to love ourselves and gives us a way to cool the fires within…so we might step away from the edge and re-gain the will to live.